


Oil

by Oftenoverlooked



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-13
Updated: 2013-01-13
Packaged: 2017-11-25 07:27:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/636533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oftenoverlooked/pseuds/Oftenoverlooked
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After hearing another of Thorin's great adventures to far off lands, the lads want to try it for themselves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oil

“Do we really have to do this?” Fili asked as he watched his brother strip down to nothing but his leather pants. He crossed his arms and leaned against one of the few trees that surrounded the small clearing. 

“Are you trying to chicken out on me already?” Kili asked sending a smirk over his shoulder as he tossed the rest of his clothes aside. “Come now, you can’t say Uncle’s story didn’t make it sound fun.” He said recalling the latest tale Thorin Oakenshield had unleashed upon his impressionable nephews. 

Fili didn’t answer right away, “You know mother’s going to skin us when she finds out what you’ve done with all her good olive oil.” He pointed out, Kili only grinned. 

“She’ll near pull our ears off, but Uncle will distract her fore’ we lose them.” He assured the younger. “Come now, off with everything but your britches, you are wearing the leather ones yes?” he asked looking to his brother; they had to be just like in the story. 

“I don’t see why we can’t just go about fighting like we always do.”Fili complained as he pulled off his cotton tunic and boots. “Learning weapons is much more practical than wrestling.” He pointed out. Kili rolled his eyes. 

“Have you no sense of adventure?” he asked, sometimes he thought that his brother would rather just stay home and work the mines for the rest of his days. “Or are you just that afraid of losing?” He tested, knowing fully that he would take his brother down with ease. 

“What makes you so sure you’ll win?” he asked as he walked over, not letting his brother’s taunts discourage him. 

“Because I always win,” he said picking up the bucket of oil and holding it out for the other dwarf. 

Fili glanced at the bucked then back to his brother’s cocky face. With a stubborn and determined look he dipped his hands into the bucket and began to lather himself up. He’d show him. 

Kili’s grin widened as he began to lather himself up as well, he seemed to be having an easier time with it than Fili was. Apparently having less hair was actually an advantage when it came to lathering oneself up with oil. Soon enough the bucket was near empty and they were soaked with oil through and through. 

“Ok, so, we start like this,” Kili said taking a stance and setting his hands on his younger brother’s shoulders, Fili in turn did the same.

“And then what?”Fili asked raising a golden brow, looking skeptically at his brother. Kili seemed a bit lost, looking back to Fili as if he would provide the answer. 

“Do you ever think things through?” he asked almost in disbelief. They were in the middle of a field, half naked and covered in their mother’s cooking oil, with not a clue of what they were doing. Kili made a face that was almost a pout.

“You just-“ he started as he pressed forward and reached for the front of his brother’s pants, “grab the other’s pants.” He said finding them hard to hold onto thanks to the oil and Fili’s protests. “Harder than it looks,” Kili said sounding pleased as he just dove his hand down between leather and skin.

“Whoa! No one said anything about that,” Fili said in protest as he put a few feet between them.

“That’s what uncle said in the tale,” Kili said with a nod. 

“I think we need to go over the rules first.” He wanted to know exactly what kind of a trick his brother was trying to pull. Kili nearly groaned. 

“Maybe if you wouldn’t fall asleep in the middle of Uncle’s tale then you would know.” He said, wanting another go at it already. “It’s a game of dominance. You get oiled up and you win by getting your opponent either on his back or my carrying him three paces, and the easiest way to get a grip is to shove your hands down his pants.” He said growing more excited as he retold them. “Uncle said the match he was in lasted nearly three days! They called him a champion in the city for the rest of his stay!”

“Fine fine, just watch it with the hands there…” he said eyeing his brother, determined not to get caught off guard like that again. He did remember bits where Thorin had mentioned hands going down pants, though it sounded like that was one of the only parts Kili remembered. 

They came back together this time leaning in a little more, both keeping their waists as far from the other as possible. They found quickly that the grab for the pants was just about the only way to go. They were as slippery as trout in the brook like oiled up like this. Kili was the first to try and make the grab again, but Fili was ready for him this time and he managed to evade his brother’s hand while getting to the side of him and shoving his arm down to the elbow into Kili’s pants. He hooked an arm around his thigh and lifted, landing the dark haired Dwarf flat on his back. 

Fili grinned looking down to his brother who stared back in disbelief, no doubt having just had the wind knocked out of him. 

“This is a champion's game you said brother?” he asked teasing.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a few things, first I would like to thank dreadelion for her wonderful art that was my muse for this (you guys should check out all her awesome art on her tumblr :3 ) and also I'd like to thank the Turkish for their wonderful tradition of oil wrestling.
> 
> Also I would like to point out, before i get people correcting me, I purposefully call Fili the younger brother, if you read the book The Hobbit, it says Fili is younger (I also know the appendix in the LOTR books also says he's older, but I don't care,) and I sort of like to keep that as me head canon for the movie as well. So deal with it.
> 
> I sorta left the end a little open in case i wanted to revisit it and take it a little farther, but we'll see how motivated I can get for that.
> 
> Anywho this is one of the first thing's I've written in a while. I know it's short, but I hope you enjoyed it.


End file.
